she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
