I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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