dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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