Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
