Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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