Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
