we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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