i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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