Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
