I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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