glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
