Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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