I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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