jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
