My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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