I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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