..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
