I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
