Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
