i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
