the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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