His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
