we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
