I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
