so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
