I heard we made out
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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