Sry I called you an 8
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
