Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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