if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
