what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
