You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
