Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
