i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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