It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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