Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
