Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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