i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
