Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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