Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
