he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
