I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
