pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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