dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize