Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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