he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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