I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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