Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
