Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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