He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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