Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
