a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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