don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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