1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So squirting runs in the family.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
