I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
