I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
