Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
