so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
