Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
