they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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